License and certificate of marriage

The day after getting a marriage license at San Francisco City Hall on February 14, Dave and Jeff Chandler were officially married in a modest ceremony at the nearby Dolores Street Baptist Church. Then on August 12 they were officially unmarried--not because of divorce or separation but by the California supreme court, which invalidated the more than 4,000 marriage licenses issued to same-sex couples in the city. In its decision the court also delivered that Mayor Gavin Newsom overstepped his authority by issuing the licenses.

Now the couple, who have been together 11 years, are more determined than ever to fight for marriage equality. As plaintiffs in the marriage license case ruled on by the court, they had high expectations, said Dave Chandler, 40, shortly after the decision. "So when I first read that my marriage was no longer valid, it was like a kick in the gut."

The Advocate spoke to Chandler by phone at the home he shares with Jeff, 42, and their l-year-old son, Jacob, in the city of San Mateo, about 20 miles south of San Francisco.

You were surprised by the court's decision?

Yes. I was expecting them to rule against the mayor but keep the marriage licenses valid until the constitutionality issue could be determined in the courts.

So how do you feel?

I feel violated. I remember reading "about the civil fights struggle when I was young, and when I read this ruling, I felt like not only was I told to sit at the back of the bus, I was told, "No, sorry, you can't, get on the bus at all."

Does the ruling have any impact on your son?

It really only has emotional implications at this point. [After Jacob was born through a surrogate] we went through family court and established joint custody instead of using second-parent adoption.

Why did you decide to get married?

I knew that we were at a moment in history, and I wanted to be apart of that. And I wanted to protect my family.

What was it like?

I was totally caught off-guard. I'm at. City Hall, and I'm having someone issue me a marriage license. I was thinking, This is my life, and I'm making a statement.

How do you feel about Gavin Newsom?

I compare his actions to men who fought for civil rights before him, like Gandhi and Martin Luther King Jr. Gavin took steps, and I thank him for that. On my wall I'm going to hang a picture of my marriage certificate. I'm going to put pictures of my husband and my son, and I'm going to put a picture of Gavin Newsom so that every day I can be reminded of what he did.

How else have you been involved in the fight for marriage equality?

I have been working with the National Center for Lesbian Rights. I'm lending my name and my life [as a plaintiff] for lawsuits. Also, Fin living my life openly. And I have refused to work for an employer that doesn't recognize my family.

What do you plan to do now?

Having this yanked away makes me realize we're vulnerable. But it just makes me more determined. I'm going to be fighting harder. I'm going to call my congressman/. I'm going to share what this means to us with our friends and family and ask them to contact their lawmakers. The fight is not over.

Do you still consider yourself married?

Completely. Spiritually we are married, and nobody can take that away.