Computer game walk through

THERE ARE SO MANY NEW PEOple discovering" bowling. Remember what it was like to enter a bowling center for the first time? I really don't, because 1 was so young. But for many, the experience can be quite an adventure. What do you do? How do you not look like an idiot? How do you just have fun, and still follow the "rules?" Here are my "bowling basics," which will help you look like you know what you are doing from your very first step into a center:

START IN FRONT

Find the "control counter/desk" for all of the general information, like how much a game and shoe rental cost, and whether there are any game specials. Many bowling centers offer "off-time" budget prices and may also offer options like prepaying for games, hourly rates, and party rates. The front desk is the place to get all the information you need.

IT'S THE SHOES!

Yon must wear bowling shoes in order to bowl. You cannot wear your street shoes. Bowling shoes are made to slide properly on the surface of the lanes, not scuff up the surface like your street shoes would. Rental shoes can run a bit larger than your regular foot size because the leather may be stretched out from other wearers.

Bring or wear athletic socks. You can wear bowling shoes without socks, but come on, isn't that a bit brave? In a pinch, you can sometimes buy cheapo ped-like socks in the pro shop or from a vending machine at the center.

I know that bowling shoes aren't real attractive, but in centers across the country, bowling shoes are stolen and worn out into the real world, so some people think they're a fashion statement.

Down the line, it might be worth your money to buy a pair of bowling shoes. The pro shop at the bowling center and eBay are good choices when you're looking to buy. You'll impress your friends, and possibly intimidate them into thinking you're really a pro in a friend's clothing--until you throw your first ball, that is.

HAVE A BALL

When it comes to a bowling ball, fit is most important. Weight is secondary. Find a ball where the finger holes allow you to get into the knuckle easily, but isn't so loose that the ball slips off your hand. (Finger holes for bowling are the middle and ring fingers.) Also, the thumb hole should be large enough for your thumb to fit all the way in; if your thumb is stuck halfway, the hole is too tight.

Bowling ball weights range from eight to 16 pounds, and usually the holes run larger as the ball gets heavier. The better the fit, the more weight you can hold and throw. And the heavier the ball you can throw, the more pins you can knock down because there is less deflection when your ball hits them.

Attractiveness is also an option for your ball, but it's the least important option. There can be several pretty balls to choose from. Find your ball before you start playing--and for a beginner, there's no need for more than one ball. You wait for the ball to come back between throws, anyway.

Everyone should find his or her own ball. Upon finding "your" ball, naming it is in order. Come up with something cute or cool. You might find the ball already has a name, inscribed above the holes.... something like "Betty." There is a reason it was permanently tattooed with this, so don't be a rebel and give the ball a new name--it will mess with your "mojo."

SCORING

Have a question about scoring your game, or even just how to enter your names? Ask the person working at the desk, the same guy or gal you rented your shoes from. It's part of their job to show you how to operate on the lanes, so don't be bashful. Most centers now have computer scoring, so you don't have to worry about how to physically score a game.

The computer may not score your practice or warmup throws, but the price meter is keeping track of every ball you throw, so you aren't getting away with anything. Another thing you usually cannot get away with is changing your score. (You can change it, but an obvious little marker usually shows up next to the frame that was changed.) Don't try to fake your way into a good game ... it's better to spend that energy in a lesson with the house pro.

GETTING FRAMED

Each bowler gets two chances per turn (a "frame") to knock down all the pins. Knocking down all 10 dins on your first try is called a "strike." It's a "spare" if you do it in two tries. Between each throw an automatic "sweep" takes away the pins you knocked down. If this doesn't happen (assuming you did knock some pins down), and sometimes it doesn't, there is a manual button on the ball return you can push to activate the sweep.

THE FOUL LINE

Stay behind the line (called the foul line) at the end of where you walk to throw the ball on the lane (the approach). It is dangerous beyond that line because there is oil there to protect the lane surface, and that oil is really slippery. At just an inch or two over the line, the surface is so slick that your foot can slip--and the fall can be both dangerous and embarrassing. I've slipped past this line my share of times, and it's not pretty.

MUNCHIES

Keep an eye on all your food and drink in the bowling area. Usually it is best to keep all your snacks up behind where you are bowling. Any food or drink that gets on your bowling shoes will make you stick and possibly fall.

Also, if you are eating finger foods, you might want to eat with your "non-bowling" hand. A greasy hand doesn't give you a good grip on the ball. As a professional bowler, and having been strictly coached on this tip since my bowling infancy, I now eat most finger foods exclusively with my left hand (I am a right-handed bowler). Yes, this is just one of the windfalls of wisdom I can share with you from my bowling life.

Your lane area should be clean when you start playing, too--if you and your friends pay for a lane and the floor is covered in chips and spilled drinks, claim no responsibility for it. Get it cleaned up right away by asking the bowling center to come down and sweep up.

ETIQUETTE

There is a certain amount of "etiquette" that needs to be employed when bowling. Show good manners: If there is someone hi the next lane who is about to bowl, wait for him or her to throw before you step up on your lane. Stay in your lane at all times. Be ready when it's your turn. Keep the ball rolling in the direction of the pins (not behind you, smart guy). Smile at the people bowling next to you. Help older ladies to the line so they can throw their ball, if they need help. And don't pout when you roll one in the gutter ... just play it off and say you were "distracted."

PERMANENT ADDITIONS

The best thing for you to do if you find yourself bitten by the bowling bug would be to spend some money and get your own pair of bowling shoes and custom-fit ball. Shoes start at about $50, and a ball with fit and drilling in the pro shop starts at about $100.

Look into a "urethane" or "resin" material ball. The polyester material balls are pretty, but they don't hook much, and can't knock down pins as well as urethane or resin balls.

You can get a cheap ball from a sporting goods store or eBay, but you will still have to pay for a fit and drilling from the pro shop. Do not get a fit and drill from a department or sporting goods store--they do not specialize in bowling balls. If you want to save some money, get your towel and bag from eBay or a sporting goods store--don't scrimp when it comes to your ball.

There me "fun" balls out now that glow in the dark or have your favorite baseball player or NASCAR driver on them. But keep in mind that if your "favorites" change with time, your ball will not be able to change along with your change in taste; consider this in your purchase. Also, the fun polyester balls are much more difficult to get to hook on the lane because of their surface material. If a big, arcing hook into the middle for a strike impresses you more than "glow in the dark," then opt for a performance ball.

DEAR ABBY (OR KIM, PARKER, BILL, JOHN ...)

Whom do you listen to for bowling advice? Well, you are reading this magazine, so that's a very good start. Typical bowlers use their teammates, friends, and/or family for advice. As a professional athlete and instructor, I can tell you that like with almost any new endeavor, having friends, family, and teammates help can be good--or bad. The obvious pro and con arguments are the same ones people give me when I tell them I am not sure about my husband teaching me how to drive a standard transmission!

Proceed with caution, and make sure to at least sprinkle in some professional advice as well. The pros may contradict what you have already been told by friends and family, but trust the professionals. Free advice from friends can be worth what you paid for it--nothing. Check in with the pro shop for contact names for bowling lessons.