My everything 98 degree

WHEN MY GRANDSON HEARD we were going to travel from Cincinnati to West Virginia on a barge, he was puzzled.

A barge? Perhaps it was a paddle-wheeler or a cabin cruiser, he thought. Surely not a barge--not one of those ugly, long, flat-bottomed things hauling a load of coal or timber.

But this barge is one of the most unusual conveyances on the Ohio River. As America's first hotel barge, the River Explorer is a real eye-catcher. Painted red, white, and blue, the River Explorer is actually two barges--the DeSoto for eating and entertaining; the LaSalle for sleeping. Pushing the two barges along with the power of 3,000 horses is the towboat Miss Nari.

And, yes, a towboat does push. A tug-boat pulls. So says towboat pilot Dayton Scoggins.

"The Miss Nari is the only river towboat in America with a Z Peller 360-degree propulsion unit," Scoggins says from his pilothouse perch. "That is special because it can completely turn the craft in place."

After a dozen or so trips on massive luxury riverboats, I was curious to see what travel on a barge would be like. As a 12-year-old, Logan was curious about everything. I think my sister Elaine was interested in finding out how the three of us would room together for eight days.

It was easy. The 98 staterooms are fairly roomy, measuring 200 square feet each. Two twin beds and a foldaway fit quite comfortably. There was also plenty of closet and drawer spaces as well as a nice bathroom with shower and full-size tub. Extras include a mini refrigerator, satellite TV, VCR, and telephone. The TV has one channel dedicated to a camera poised on the bow of the ship to show where the vessel is headed.

All the staterooms have big picture windows that can be opened to let in the river breeze and sights. A nice touch is the complimentary binoculars that come in handy when viewing the river banks. Half the rooms have private balconies. Ours did, with a little bench, which was a neat spot to sit early in the morning or late at night in our pajamas.

What did Logan like the best? The river, the crew, some talkative birds in the lounge, the never-ending snacks, the shore stops, and a new "family" of friendly passengers who would call our room and ask if he could come out and visit.

I worried that Logan might be a bit lonely with just his grandma and Aunt Elaine. But in no time at all, he knew the boat forward and backward and had a whole set of card- and game-playing chums. The crew also invited him to watch a special crew showing of a comedy movie one night in the barge theater. There was only one other child on the trip, several years younger than Logan, and they never seemed to be in the same place at the same time.

What did Aunt Elaine enjoy most? The hot tub, the meals she didn't have to cook, the trip ashore, the river, other people, the barge library, nightly entertainment, and the opportunity to lean back and do absolutely nothing. Glorious!

What did I gain most from our river excursion? A chance to spend some quality time with two of my favorite people, watch the river flow, get some rest, and become revved up to write about a great all-American travel experience. The River Explorer is a top-notch way to see the little towns along the country's rivers, somewhat as Mark Twain must have done when he fell in love with the great Mississippi.

RiverBarge Excursion Lines was the brainchild of Eddie Conrad, who's had a lifelong infatuation with America's waterways. The New Orleans native's love for river travel began when he was 16 years old and set off in Lewis & Clark fashion to find the source of the Mississippi at Lake Itasca, Minnesota.

RiverBarge Excursion Lines was created in 1995, and the 198-passsenger (based on double occupancy) River Explorer was launched in 1998. It stretches longer than two football fields and has a crew of about 40. Each of the two barges hats its own elevator.

The River Explorer makes trips of four to 10 days on the Mississippi, Ohio, and other heartland rivers from ports such as Nashville, Memphis, New Orleans, and Cincinnati. Prices range from $750 to $3,400 per person, depending on length of cruise and type of room. You can also check for specials. The one I like allows a child 12 and younger to travel free when staying in the same stateroom as parents or grandparents. Teachers and retired teachers travel for half price with a full-fare companion.

One big plus about River Explorer prices is that there aren't a ton of hidden costs. I've taken cruises where you're constantly having to pull out more money for shore excursions, programs, tips, etc. At RiverBarge, you pay one all-inclusive price that covers all meals, entertainment, free washer and dryer, tips, taxes, port charges, and scheduled shore activities. That's right--no tips. And the crew still treats passengers as though they are the biggest tippers around.

RiverBarge isn't skimpy either about its shore activities at each landing. In Wheeling, a tour bus took us to Moundsville State Penitentiary, which served as a maximum-security prison for more than 120 years. We also visited Oglebay Park, toured the Oglebay mansion, and stopped by the glass museum to see West Virginia's famed art of glass making. Of course, we also got a chance to buy some of that locally made art glass.

We boarded the River Explorer in Cincinnati. As soon as my brother-in-law pulled his car up on the waterfront, two young crew members were there to carry our luggage to the barge and get us settled in our stateroom (again, tipping was not allowed). Check-in was amazingly simple. We were given a nametag "necklace" for the trip that doubled as a door key and credit card for gift shop items and alcoholic drinks. I thought that wearing that darn thing around my neck would be a nuisance, but it actually turned out to be quite handy.

We also were given a sturdy mug with a lid when we arrived. That was to help save on disposable glasses and dish washing. The mugs could be filled any time day or night at the ice water, coffee, tea, milk, juice, hot chocolate, and pop stations around the barge. Another good idea that quickly became second nature.

The Lobby is a popular place to play cards, read, and watch the river through large solarium-style windows. The Guest Pilot House is a replica of a real pilothouse and features authentic pilot chairs, radar, river charts, and radio with actual transmissions from the bridge.

The Governor Galvez Room, named for the Spanish governor of Louisiana, has card, poker, and bumper pool tables, along with books and magazines and a nice assortment of videos you can borrow. The Louisiana Purchase gift shop offers RiverBarge merchandise, leisurewear, film, books, personal amenities, and regional items.

The Galley is where meals are served on colorful Fiestaware dishes. No matter where you sit, you can get a good view of the river. And seating is not reserved. Sit anywhere you like. You can even choose to sit someplace different for each meal. The Galley features mostly homestyle family cooking, nothing really fancy but quite delicious with plenty of fruit and vegetables.

The Galley is always open, giving guests the freedom to "raid the fridge" on a 24-hour basis. It's a tough temptation because the fridge is always stocked with great pies and cakes, along with tuna and chicken salad sandwiches, fruit, salad, and yogurt. Guests can enjoy hot dogs, popcorn, and other snacks at the Under-The-Bridge Bar. Fresh baked cookies fill the bottomless Perpetual Cookie Jar in the lobby.

The Sprague, named for the largest towboat to ever travel the Mississippi River, is a two-story lounge and cabaret area. Here you can hear regional entertainers, including gospel choirs, storytellers, and bluegrass bands. On our cruise, we heard a dulcimer player, country classics band with a great salute to Hank Williams, and a rousing polka band.

The Sky Deck is where we spent most of our time. It has a small gym, a jogging and walking track, a covered area where you can sit out of the sun, and two whirlpool tubs. The three of us usually had the tubs all to ourselves after dinner each night. It's hard to beat sitting in a hot tub, watching the mighty Ohio and passing parade of shoreside landmarks.

Make no mistake--the river is the star of the River Explorer. It is always changing, and we soon fell in love with "river time" and the casual atmosphere of barge life. No fancy dressing up--most passengers wore the same outfits all day. The crew usually wore golf shirts and slacks or Bermuda shorts.

The days passed leisurely by. Folks on the riverbanks and on passing boats would stop what they were doing, wave, and shout hello as we glided by. The river towns--some big, some small--were a treat to enter from the unusual river road: Cincinnati, Sisterville, Pomeroy, Marietta, Portsmouth, Wheeling, with different locks and dams in between.